Let this be a lesson

As Jordan Petersen so eloquently puts it, think about helping yourself as if you are helping a friend. I’m betting you would be a lot more forgiving and have greater understanding of a friend that you are helping than you afford yourself.

…and that’s doubly compounded when you look at yourself and think of what you “should” have done.

So this year, as you make decision for what changes you want to make, treat yourself well, and with more mercy. This does not give you freedom to be a “push-over” and undisciplined. Rather, it means that you are going to have some tough times moving ahead toward your goals…and it’s not the failing that matters, it’s picking back up and moving onward towards the goal.

Don’t look at the failing and say “I should have done better.” Remember, that is going to focus on the negative. Most likely, at the time you made it, you could not have made a different decision…otherwise you would have. It’s only hindsight that gives you the perspective that a different decision could have been made.

You can, however, look at the failing and figure out why it happened, so you learn from it. Then you can realize how not to make that same mistake, or have that same failing. It becomes a lesson, which is positive.

And lessons on what to avoid are powerful. Maybe more powerful than lessons on what to do.

So this year, as you begin to set goals and make resolutions, try not to “should” on yourself. Learn from the past and use those lessons to be more successful this year!